I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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