Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
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Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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