i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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