Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
