Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
