she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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