I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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