The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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