Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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