Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
