dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what day is it and did you see me today?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We left the knife in your bed.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
