Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
