she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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