I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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