I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
