I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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