Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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