I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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