I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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