Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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