I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
