We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
