what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
