i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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