Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
