drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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