You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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