I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
sarcasm needs its own font
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
