I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
