just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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