Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
