Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
