so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it hurts more in the daytime
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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