So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
