I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
