I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
