Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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