its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
