I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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