Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
