the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
