Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
