"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
