How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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