This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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