Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
