He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
