she looked like the before picture.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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