i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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