Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
