Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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