Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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