I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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