hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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