Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
