dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
