nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
