all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
