Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
