How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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