Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
