even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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