that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
