She's JV to your varsity
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
vagina is talking i cant
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We were destined to go to rehab together
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
