At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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