I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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