I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
